Question

Prejudice and Individuality.

expressfarhad — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:43:01 +0000

So how do we eliminate discrimination, be it based on gender, race, age or social class? The very essence of prejudice is categorisation, to identify a group, and to label it “different” from your own. History has shown us human nature towards what is “different” and it isn’t always a pretty sight.

As humans we take in our surroundings, we identify distinctions and categorise them. We create groups. It’s a simple process our minds have come to assimilate and use to speed up our cognition, we don’t have to process information and create individual objects, we will simply categorise them and label them with the rest that possess similar characteristics.

Categorisation has served us well, we’re able to use our environment for many uses when lacking certain tools. an example being, cupping my hands together to drink water from a well.

But we have become unaware of the effects of categorisation. We categorise people into groups, we award them with attributes because of what we hear, read and see. We have forgotten to look at individuals as individuals. Our cognition has become automatic when we familiarise our selves with our surroundings.

We need to learn to be aware of categorisation as a process when making distinctions.
A mistake people will make when addressing prejudice is to claim that we need to see each other as equals, no different from each other. But that is where you’re wrong.

We are different, every single one of us. We are not equal, we possess distinct features physically, emotionally and mentally formed together in an infinite number of combinations.

However here is the biggest barrier of all. Categorisation of self. If Adam begins to cateorise himself, of course it’s ok to categorise others! And there’s our mistake. We find strength in numbers, and how do numbers stay strong? By uniting under one cause. Inevitably leading to a group of individuals pigeon holing themselves.

I’ve come to the decision where I am going to shed the identity that surrounds me through ethnicity and culture and emit my energies as who I am. Me.

Jealous are we?

expressfarhad — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:39:12 +0000

To be jealous is painful for you both. It is contagious and infectious. It will drive you both to prove to each other that neither belongs to each other. This will tear you apart. You cannot consider yourselves as one when you consider each other as possessions. You are not pets, you are not objects. Jealousy and possessiveness make a deadly team for relationships.

We can have moments where this possessive attitude will feel like love, a burning passion. But how and where does this love come from? Why is it so difficult to be aware of and then let go?

I will define it as an addiction, a drug that gives you moments of ecstasy and then needs “another hit.” Notice that the burning passion doesn’t last. It is short lived, something new will approach your relationship that will drive you toward jealousy, anger and resentment.

You both play a part in staying in a relationship bound by this addiction. This happens through your partner reacting to your jealousy passively. They will tell you they will make an effort to keep you happy so you know they are yours.* But they will never be your object. They will never give themselves to you through coercion. But they will want to keep you happy for fear of loss of their own possession, their partner. This will lead to a steady loss of communication through avoidance which can lead to deceit. This non confrontational approach to your partners jealousy will make them happy and feel a sense of commitment, but you can see how unstable this comfort is.

Because the standards made by a jealous attitude are usually double standards. The standards they have set for you seem to not apply to them. This will drive you to a resentment to keep them, to hold them closer to you. Do you see how quickly the infection of jealousy can spread?*(expand)

What can you do to be at peace? How do you keep that fist around your heart from tearing it out? I tell you, let go. Allow your partner to live, accept that your partner is separate and has the right to do whatever, whenever, where ever and however they please. Give them space. Give them space to love you. Giving them the choice to love. The choice to let them love you however they see fit.

You have that choice too. You choose to show your affections in your own way. You decide whether you want to go or stay, to speak, to follow, to give or to take. Each one of your actions will affect your partner in their own way, positively and negatively. Some actions affect more than others. The important element being that you have the choice to. You were not coerced to show affection, you simply gave it because you wanted to. This natural affection, creates an unprovoked, abundant love. If your partner finds themselves unaffected positively by your affections, then I’m afraid you were not meant to be. You cannot choose what, who or where attracts you or affects you. That requires a decades worth of self reflection and change.

But when your partners actions do affect you strongly there is always a reciprocation. But not from obligation, but from the heart. Your affections will often be done at the same time without the other aware of it. This is unconditional, without needing, simply giving because you want to.

This is healthy, unmasked, spontaneous love.

This can be expanded to amazing depths, even as I spent time writing this I have thought of processes that could be. But I’d be here all day, and I’ll simply leave that to discuss with individuals at cafes and bars.

I also owe my experiences and understanding to my lover, she is inspiration beyond belief.

Pain Experiment.

expressfarhad — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:43:48 +0000

How can the thought of Family create pain?

Imagine this…
You are devoted to another. You are committed to another. The other person is just as committed to you. Your time, your effort, your energy, love, intimacy, it’s all spent on the other person.

You decide that the only sense to life would be to ask the other’s hand in marriage. It’s the socially viable step no?

What would you feel if they reply, “No” without reason?

Treat Me Right.

expressfarhad — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:36:52 +0000

“Why doesn’t he ask me if I want to go out with him and his friends?”
“I wish she would tell me more about her day”
“Why doesn’t he give me one of those too?”

The above examples can be common thoughts in a relationship.

We all have desires, we want to be loved in a certain way, the perfect way. The definition of “love” is irrelevant. I refuse to place labels on people’s feelings for each other, call it whatever you want.

When in this position of wanting your partner to care for you in specific ways, you will find yourself in pain. This pain will spin into ideas that their care for you has diminished, you will doubt their feelings toward you. This can lead to a possessive attitude from the fear of your partner becoming distant and eventually your relationship breaking apart.

How foolish is that pattern of thought?

You cannot make them care for you the way you want, this is impossible. You have to understand that your partner loves you in their own way. This must be accepted, if you cannot accept this you are wanting. This hunger of wanting will never be filled no matter how many people you go to and seek different ways of being treated as a lover.

Once you accept that any partner you come across has different feelings and will express them in their own way, you can find peace. No more worrying about why they don’t do any of the above examples, they have their own way of showing their devotion to you, a devotion that needs your trust.

Beauty.

expressfarhad — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:36:00 +0000

“The most beautiful thing a man will ever see is a woman’s body.”

Many agree with the above. But there is more to that statement, plenty more.

A woman’s body doesn’t end at what you can see. There are organs working together with energy. Our bodies work in such harmony, that natural mechanism alone is pure beauty. Nature is beautiful. Nature doesn’t stop here on Earth, the universe is beautiful. Just look outside your window, too often do we disregard the masterpiece God has created each morning, a sky. A sky with colours and textures that change day after day. Look further and we have the planets, the stars even black holes. But we’ll stay on Earth for now, this isn’t star trek.*

We can look at buildings and call them beautiful. But they are only man made. Simple pieces of architecture. They are products of a calculation, a plan. Planning is not natural. Buildings are only skin deep, where is it’s intricate insides? Nowhere. The gas pipes, electric wiring? No. But does this building’s organs grow? No!

If nothing were beautiful, then the building would be beautiful.

Nature is ever growing, ever expanding. A building will stay the way it was erected until it is torn down or “developed.”

So a more agreeable quote would be…
“One of the most beautiful things people will ever see is a human’s body”

God.

expressfarhad — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:33:21 +0000

My personal perception of God at this moment of my life is not the long white bearded man in the clouds. God to me is beyond an omnipotent, omniscient being. In fact, God to me is not all knowing or all-powerful.

I am God. You are God. Everything is God, God is everything. To me, everything is connected, everything works together. A perfect mechanism with the ‘imperfection’ of not knowing what will be of our decisions, because all that truly exists and is known, is now. Decisions are made in unity, many will benefit from these decisions, many will not.

When our bodies die, we don’t return to the Earth of which we came. We return to the universe of which we came†. So because the universe is everything and everything is God…

You get the picture.

Invisible Borders.

expressfarhad — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:32:41 +0000

When I step into my balcony for a smoke I have a magnificent view of London, from the London Eye to The Gherkin. Now, I see more. I see a border. An invisible, man-made border in between man and God. These borders are constructed of many distractions. We are bombarded with advertisements. Advertisements of women and men we idolise and lust over. Billboards of luxuries disguised as necessities. Along with many other things, our society is constructed with empty goals. We are brought up, no, we are programmed to chase these goals.

We are born, told to get an education, get a job, get married, fuck then die. All the above distractions fall into the latter cycle. We are told what we want to be happy. But we are not told what we need to be happy. We are not told what we need, full stop. But of course what we need, is our purpose. Which is up to us to decide. But how can we ever find it with all these distractions? How can we start our journey when we think we are already on one that seems so real but in fact is a complete distraction? A fake. A fraud.

We have forgotten that there is more than our little planet. We forget to look up. Be aware that we are distracted, through awareness you will be able to accept and through acceptance comes change.

Expression.

expressfarhad — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:31:39 +0000

Many claim writing is therapeutic. In fact, any form of expression is therapeutic. Music, literature, language, the arts. They are all forms of expression from the author. True expression comes from the heart, the soul, the spirit. That’s why you can feel Da Vinci’s ‘last supper’ or Beethoven’s 9th. (The subjectivity of feeling expression is irrelevant here.)When we express, we bring our thoughts and feelings from inside and throw them into the external. This way we can sense our expressions. We see our paintings, smell and taste our food, listen to our music and touch our sculptures. By expressing ourselves through the latter, we verify our thoughts and feelings.

What’s more, we express in order to exhibit these thoughts and feelings to others. We need acknowledgement of these thoughts and feelings. Without this validation how do we have proof of our thoughts and feelings? Through validating and verifying our thoughts and feelings, we have created a reality, a proof that we exist. Without proof that we exist, we would go insane.